The Brazilian Nation Wears Football Shoes

I slept this morning after I found out the match between Brazil and Croatia would be at noon, not at nine. The constant allergies I have had, soothed only with Benadryl®, have as a consequence a nice drowsiness, unusual for someone who has insomnia.

The notes of the Brazilian National Anthem woke me up. The anthem is long, baroque and nobody knows its words. I was watching Rede Globo ( we call it Bobo for fool) and listening to the never ending nonsensical chatter the commentators feel it is their duty to produce. Says one,

"Here we are in Berlin, the stage of a barbaric act of a society that separated grandpas from grandchildren, a Wall.."

Says the other,

"I wonder how folks at home must be feeling, hearing the anthem and even singing along the words..."

Continues the first one,

"But now Berlin is one, Berlin is one country and everybody is happy again."



But this baloney was better to listen to than that of US commentators way before the US played, as if the US team would ever have a chance. In addition, in the USA they narrate a futebol match as if it were baseball or basketball, counting how many times this and that. It's just ridiculous. Guys, get your networks to send you to Bahia.

On April 12, 2006, I had said to a very close friend of mine that should Ronaldo Fenômeno play we could kiss the Cup good-bye. This gifted player handed the Cup to the French and since then has been on my merde list, pardon my French. Brazilians, however, are a forgiving people. This guy is more full of it than a Christmas turkey, and it's only June now.

It's not my picking on Ronaldo Fenômeno. He says he is white while his mama said that then it wasn't her hole he came out from. Just like most players, his is a story of rags to riches, but then, in my opinion, he can take raggededy rich ass out of the National Team.

And sure enough, he was an underachiever" today. The match was so boring I was more focused on the silly comments of the Rede Bobo guys than on the match itself. Many times tears came to my eyes. I remembered the ghosts of times past, of the radio era, discussing Carioca clubs on TV on a Sunday night. The program was peopled with many important names of Brazilian culture. Even Ary Barroso was there. Ary authored "Brazil" and that is another song we know not what the words mean.

My favorite player is Ronaldinho Gaúcho, nominated FIFA's best in 04 and 05 and European best, for Barcelona, in 05.
He's from Rio Grande do Sul, a mostly white state, he's not really attractive, but he's so talented, his body so beautiful, his personality so simpática, charming, unassuming, I can't help but like him a lot.

My Ronaldo is the browner one, the smiling one

The round-table of mostly deceased commentators kept me company, complaining about the lack of players to advance in the wings, about players not daring move forward, all of them perspiring imaginarily at the perspective of a goal made by that other team whose players seemed to have been named after vodka.

Brazil was able to keep its lone goal and now we breathe deeply, waiting for the next match.

Before closing, I would like to express how I feel about the two Ronaldos by making a comparison maybe more familiar to Americans. Ronaldo Fenômeno is to Kobe Bryant what Ronaldinho Gaúcho is to Michael Jordan.

Like Kobe Bryant, Ronaldo Fenômeno is a Diva, a Drama Queen, unpredictable, full of excuses. Pros cannot pile up excuses at the tab of 25 million dollars paid by Nike®, plus club salaries.
"Oh, this is sooo haaarrrrd"



Like Michael Jordan, Ronaldinho Gaúcho is reliable, a genius without pomp and circumstance. Michael Jordan had his share of grief while playing for the Bulls: gaming, his father was murdered, gossip. Unlike that Lakers player, Michael Jordan could be found on the court and scoring. Always.


Michael Jordan got a statue in Chicago and I hope Ronaldinho Gaúcho gets his in Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul. And maybe he is wearing braces, I felt his teeth looked better.

Gaúcho, I am home alone, from eight to three. You say the ball is your girl, listen: I have two half-balls on the top and two other half-balls on the bottom. Come check them out, :wub: